Can anyone help me find my Moms?
Does anyone know her?
Are you out there Moms?
I was expecting life to begin with a ‘big bang’, but it seems I might need Moms help with something. I tried searching other social networks, like Face Book and Twitter, but no luck. She probably hasn’t realized that I am even here yet. Oh well….
If you do happen to meet her, please tell her that I am just a plain, simple, confused little unfertilized Eggy with no future yet. I am locked away down here in her dark, squishy Ovaries with some other Egg Sisters; just hanging around in my little Follicle Sac with nothing to do but dream of who Moms might be and wondering if I might get to meet her one day? (Yes, Eggs do dream.)
You can also tell her that I am quite creative; I sing a bit, I like wild parties and am writing this, ‘Secret Diary of a Really Bad Egg’ in the hope that one day she will read it and contact me. Oh, do explain that I am not really a Bad Egg. Its just that I am a bit confused and unsure about my future. Please remember that YOU were also just an egg once. We all have to start from somewhere and this might be my only chance to change the world and beat all those other rotten eggs out there! (If I get to be the ‘Chosen One’ of course.)
I am writing this diary on a chemical computer in our Nursery Internet Cafe. It translates my thoughts into words, which is cool. The outer thoughts are like this, and the inner thoughts are in italic thingys. I have been warned not to spend too much time on here though, as it may mean I need to wear glasses thingys later in life. Also I am only allowed to write this on condition that I promise not to offer Moms any medical advice or suggest any practical alternatives or ways of dealing with her pregnancy (The Nursery Egg Management told me to say this; some form of legal disclaimer I suppose) She could try…..http://www.tipsgettingpregnant.com…. though if she wants to.
I often wonder what Moms will look like – fat, thin, tall, short, ugly, beautiful? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see. Pity we can’t see what our parents will look like. I asked the Nursery Egg Management in here if they had a color brochure, with photo thingys of all available Moms so I could choose; but they just told me not to be so stupid.
I am writing this on WordPress.com hoping she might be on here. I even have my own ‘eggy mail’ address, but I wont tell you that yet, just in case it attracts the wrong type of Moms. I would like her to be a real, loving, natural Moms, but I suppose its the luck of the draw really. I have noticed early signs of neurosis even in here.
Oh, some good news though, do tell her I did find a Song in a little treasure chest in here marked, ‘Genes-Do Not Open. For Fertilization Only’. I have to sing from my yoke as I don’t have any vocal chords yet, but it goes something like this….’I’m just a simple raw egg who’s trying to find you….I should be yellow, but am feelin ever so blue…so for now all I can dooo… .is dream … dream of you.’ Not bad for an egg, but I think I still have room for improvement.
Just got a chemical message from the Nursery Egg Management. They have published this month’s Production Schedule.By the looks of it, tomorrow is the first day of Moms Biological Cycle thingy, so I better get some rest – want to look the best egg in the Ovary for her. Wish me luck!
Nite nite World, nite nite Moms…… whoever you are.
Your EGGY. 🙂
PS: Moms –if you do meet the Dads, please tell them ‘ to get a move on.’ It’s ever so boring in here!
(c)Copyright ‘Secret Diary of a Really Bad Egg’ (Eggy’s Diary) November 2009. A.D.Fryer. Unauthorized use and duplication of this written material & front cover without the blogs author and/or owners written permission is strictly prohibited
3 responses to “Hello World! Can anyone help me find my Moms?”
Are you looking for effective online promotion that isn’t completely full of it? I apologize for sending you this message on your contact form but actually that’s exactly where I wanted to make my point. We can send your promotional message to websites through their contact forms just like you’re getting this ad right now. You can specify targets by keyword or just execute mass blasts to websites in the location of your choice. So let’s assume you need to send an ad to all the mortgage brokers in the United States, we’ll grab websites for only those and post your promo to them. Providing you’re promoting a product or service that’s relevant to that niche then your business will get awesome results!
Send a reply to firstname.lastname@example.org for the full details
Good morning, I was just checking out your website and filled out your “contact us” form. The “contact us” page on your site sends you messages like this to your email account which is the reason you are reading my message right now right? This is the most important achievement with any type of online ad, getting people to actually READ your ad and that’s exactly what I just accomplished with you! If you have an ad message you would like to promote to thousands of websites via their contact forms in the US or anywhere in the world let me know, I can even focus on your required niches and my prices are very reasonable. Write an email to: email@example.com
Good morning, I was just checking out your site and filled out your contact form. The “contact us” page on your site sends you these messages via email which is why you are reading my message at this moment correct? That’s the most important achievement with any type of online ad, making people actually READ your advertisement and I did that just now with you! If you have an ad message you would like to promote to millions of websites via their contact forms in the US or to any country worldwide send me a quick note now, I can even focus on specific niches and my pricing is very affordable. Write an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org