Week 3 BC:

(c)Copyright ‘Secret Diary of a Really Bad Egg’ (Eggy’s Diary) November 2009. A.D.Fryer. Unauthorized use and duplication of this written material & front cover without the blogs author and/or owners  written permission  is strictly prohibited                         

Day 15 BC: ‘Before Conception’

I am slowly maturing and ripening Moms; thanks to Rowena and those stimulating hormones! Getting bigger and Bigger. (I hope I’m not going to become a large fruit thing or that chicken though?) I am also the first Egg in your ovary to produce my very own hormones. It’s called Estrogen or Oestrogen. Rowena wasn’t sure, but that’s okay. I think it’s quite attractive to have some faults and not to be too perfect; don’t you Moms? Rowena says they will help prepare me for the next stage of the journey; if I get to be the ‘Chosen Egg’ of course.    

Aren’t you just a little bit proud of me now Moms? Be nice to know. These Estrogen things are sending out messages to your body now. I don’t know what they are saying or how they do it, but it’s pretty cool, like this computer. I have become your Chemical Communicator! How’s your tummy?    

I wonder if these chemical things will affect my singing though; be awful to get voice pollution before I even have the vocal chords for it yet! Must take precautions.    

Better not sing……..    

Your silent Eggy.  😦  

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Day 16 BC:

HELP Moms! Chaos in your ovary today. A violent chemical storm swept through with swirling winds. I hope I didn’t overdose everything with those Estrogen hormone things I sent out. Very frightening; but I heard myself singing…! ‘Oh, a storm is threatening the ovary today….If I don’t find my Moms… I will surely fade away…..’    

Then suddenly all the other Egg Sisters began to groan with pain. It was horrible! One by one they began to change colour; from red, to orange and then slowly lose their inner life light. Then they began to shrivel up and die; right before my very yoke. Their cries of pain grew fainter and fainter. No one could help us, as we are locked away in our Follicle Sacs. Will I be next? Is it happening to me already? Then I thought I saw Rowena dimly approaching through the storm. Flashing lights and shafts of brilliant iridescent colors surrounded her. She tried valiantly to reach me; holding out her long filaments towards me…….but I felt myself fading away……    

I didn’t remember much else………  😦  

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Day 17 BC:

I must have passed out. Life in your ovary is over now Moms…..finished. It has become a bleak and deserted place. Once it was full of vibrant colour and potential new life, but now it is grey and dim. No new beginnings anymore. It is so dark I can’t even see beyond my own yoke. All I can do now is await my own Eggy fate. Your Nursery Management were right; every Bad Egg deserves a Bad Ending.    

We didn’t get to have ‘Our Great Egg Adventure’ together Moms; but it was a good dream, and I am glad we had it.    

Bye….    

Your lost Eggy.  😦 😦 😦  

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Day 18 BC:

Wow!…….something amazing has happened Moms.    

A new ovarian dawn today. Rowena gently woke me. It seems that she and the other Helper Cells formed a protective shield around me during the storm. How brave of them to defend such a rotten Egg. Then Rowena whispered, ‘It is time to go’, in a soft silky voice and gave me such a beautiful iridescent smile. I was confused. Go, where? ‘YOU are Alive and the CHOSEN EGG …AND this is Ovulation Day!’ she cried excitedly. What ME!? I am the Best Egg in your Ovary Moms? The Chosen One! I was ‘egg smacked’. I didn’t think I stood a chance as I had upset the Egg Management and Egg Sisters so much, and then that storm I probably helped create.    

It seems however, that with yours and Rowena’s help, I have somehow cracked the system. I wonder what your Nursery Egg Management think of the result; I bet they can’t be too pleased. Rowena has told me to rest up in my Follicle Sac for now and get my strength ready for the next part of the journey tomorrow. I am even too excited to sing but found this great ‘Yellow’ song in your Genes Chest!    

Hello- I’m back again Moms!  🙂 

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Day 19 BC:

Last night as I hung there on your ovary wall Moms; my little yoke was beating so fast and a thousand excited thoughts stirred inside. I even debated the whole ‘Theory of Eggy Evolution’ with myself and why the other Egg Sisters had been sacrificed. I didn’t reach any conclusion though; out of respect for those who didn’t make it I suppose.    

What is amazing Moms is that all of this happens inside you here. I wonder if you were aware of any of this? I haven’t heard from you so I just don’t know. I will be sorry to leave my new recording studio though, but we have to move on, don’t we Moms? I still can’t believe it.    

I have become the ‘Mature Egg of the Ovaries’ and now, I understand, it is up to YOU and the Dads to help me out on the next stage of this incredible journey, so that we can all hopefully, propagate the world with little Eggy’s! Ha Ha. Or maybe, just one, is more than enough?    

Your very excited Eggy!  🙂  

PS: Eggy Panic: Rowena didn’t come today as she promised. I hope she is okay?    

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Day 20 BC:

Panic over. Rowena and the other Helper Cells finally arrived. It seems that your Nursery Management put in a last minute ‘appeal’ against the decision to have me as the ‘Chosen Egg’ yesterday! Your Ovary was ‘out of bounds’ to everyone until a decision could be reached. What!? A big meeting was called and Rowena said that Nursery Management put up a strong case for having me ‘expelled and destroyed’! THEY wanted to wait for the next batch of new Eggs and Follicles to form in your ovaries next month and hope that they would be ‘of better quality’. What a Cheek!    

However the top brass management in your body; the Ultimate Supreme Authority ‘Brain Control’ finally over-ruled them, and their appeal was rejected. Brain Control has called for a full egg enquiry. In the meantime the Nursery Foremen ‘Blackberry’, that real snooty Cell with a superior nature, has been suspended! Hey Ya!    

Quite right! Perhaps you should consider changing your Nursery Egg Management next time around Moms? I promise you, I will try to be a ‘Good Egg’ from now on. Can we restart ‘Our Great Egg Adventure’ now?    

Your ever so….Good Eggy.  🙂  

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Day 21 BC:

A brand new day and a brand new yokey song Moms! ‘No need to hide… no need to run…an Eggy life has just begun ….restart the clock…. we’ll find a way …..to show the world…it’s the start of an Eggy brand new day….!’    

Rowena and the other Cells helped me out of my Follicle sac this morning. Then with their long filament arms they gently waved me towards a long tunnel on the other side of your Ovary. You’re Egg Management boringly call it the Fallopian Tube, but Rowena and the Cells just giggle, and call it your ‘Tunnel of Love’!    

Behind me the other Egg Sister Follicles were hanging limp and lifeless on the walls of your ovary. I was sort of moved for a moment to see how others of my own kind could be reduced to this. One minute they are potential new life forms; the next, they are nothing. Rowena reassuringly wound one of her long filaments around me and guided me safely towards your ‘Tunnel of Love’. As we floated along, Rowena explained what would happen next.    

It seems you and the Dads have this strange sort of courting ritual; you sort of ‘spoon’ together and then have this strenuous work- out? The result is that over 300 million of the Dads wriggly Sperm things transfer into your body and make there way up your tubey things towards ME!    

A lot of them get lost or are ‘taken out’ by your body’s defender soldier Cells (the Bouncers) who think they are invading parasites. Then only about 3 million Sperms make it into your ‘Tunnels of Love’- you have two of these and lots of the Sperms choose the wrong one. Finally only 500 or so, get it right, but only ONE of them gets to do the deed; to make me really happy, fulfilled and FERTILIZED! Rowena says it’s a Lottery Jackpot with odds of about 80 million to one! (What’s a lottery Moms?)    

Each Sperm is loaded with it’s own dynamite DNA chromosome package, all trying reach my little Eggy nucleus and your Genes chest treasure . Only the strongest swimmer gets to burrow deep into me and blow my little Eggy nucleus apart; merging with yours and causing it to divide trillions of times with all the chromosome things creating a First Edition set of Eggy building instructions that will eventually make me into a complete Eggy individual!    

Gosh, is that scary or what Moms? I feel quite exhausted already, but I found a really cool song in your Genes chest to celebrate ‘Our Brand New Day’ ….ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR…sing it boys!    

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(c)Copyright ‘Secret Diary of a Really Bad Egg’ (Eggy’s Diary) November 2009. A.D.Fryer. Unauthorized use and duplication of this written material & front cover without the blogs author and/or owners  written permission  is strictly prohibited .      

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