Week 5 AD: ‘After the Deed’

Day 29 AD

Zygote Eggy!


Hey Moms, the ‘Deed’ is done! I am now called a Zygote – but you can still call me Eggy if you like. I am dividing rapidly. Thanks to you and the Dads for your help. Will I have more than one Dads? I am a bit confused about that bit.    

We are just floating gently down your ‘Tunnel of Love’ (the Fallopian tube thingy) towards my new home deep down, inside your body here, where I will grow & GROW! My final resting place. Rowena said Management call it the Uterus?-Ergh! That doesn’t sound very nice; ‘Eggy’s Uterus’? She said the other name, Womb is better. I agree, it sounds more cool; ‘Eggy’s Womb’.    

Great name for my new recording studio too! I hope it’s got good acoustics. Some insistent little Sperms still fluttered around me this morning. They didn’t realize the party was over. Rowena and the Bouncers sorted them out. One minute they are the Good Guys and the next minute they are Intruders- a lesson for us all I suppose. No prizes for coming in second. Still, lots of other things to worry about.    

Rowena said its okay not hearing from you yet Moms. She said, your body will tell you soon enough when we reach your Womb.(Not sure what she means) I still feel I am just a sexless, shapeless little blob; even though I am fertilized.    

Fruit Fly Eggy!


Rowena said not to worry though, there is a lot of genetic brick building going on inside me that was decided a thousand million years ago, and it’s the same basic plan for fruit flies as it is for me. (But I thought it was chickens?) She giggled and said I might even develop some wings and get to hang around dustbins if I get lucky! I didn’t understand, but gave a yokey laugh. I suppose I have got a lot to learn.    

Better concentrate on getting there. Miles of tunnels and tube things you have in here Moms.    

Don’t want to go the wrong way!    

What’s a fruit fly?    

Your very fertilized,    



Day 30 AD:

Brain Control


There is a lot of activity deep in my Eggy yoke Moms. Chemical messages being sent back and forth as we float along here. Got one from the big boys at your Brain Control today.    

“This is Brain Control to Fertilized Egg. Instigate Chromosome duplication. Divide, split, multiply….Divide, split, multiply. Are you receiving us Fertilized Egg?”    

 Wow, this is impressive stuff. Molecules talking to molecules, cells to cells, organs to organs. I suddenly feel quite important. I relayed back a reply via the chemical transfer messaging system- CTMS for short. (makes our blog seem a bit out of date Moms.)    

“Receiving you loud and clear Brain Control; have instigated divisions as requested- Eggy.”    

 The Dads sperm’s 23 chromosomes mixed with my Eggy 23 chromosome thingys, creating a 46 volume First Edition Eggy which will be used to build all my bits. Cool eh!  I am 8 cells bigger already! Just thought of a great song for Brain Control…..….my first Fertilized Song!    

‘Brain Control to Major Eggy….Brain Control to Major Eggy…..take your protein pills and put your helmet on……’    

Do you know it Moms, or is it an Eggy original?    

Major Eggy    


Day 31 AD:

Brain Control very busy again today Moms; sending me special hormones, slippery secretions and muscle contractions to help me on my way down to your Womb. These guys ‘up top’ seem to know exactly what they are doing; better than your Nursery Management lot did. I would seriously think about changing them Moms. We should discuss this when I get out. Maybe I could help you out with some ‘inside info’ based on my experience in here?    

Eggy building blocks


I hope all these Genes things get along together. I don’t want them having any arguments or upsets and spoiling my Eggy building blocks. Also I hope they aren’t just after a Free Ride! Just using my little nucleus to promote themselves. Be a bit selfish of them when I have to go through all the pain and torture of becoming a baby, growing up, passing them on to the next generation and then they just get rid me.    

A disposable Eggy!    



Day 32 AD:

We are nearly there Moms. Rowena still very busy doing ‘admin’ as we tootle along here. She has been filling in her ‘Egg Fertilisation Report’ and asked me a question today.    

Boy or Girl?


Could I remember whether it was a Boy ‘Y’ Sperm or a Girl ‘X’ one that finally did the deed? AHH NO! A problem. I forgot to look. Let’s go back now! What SEX actually am I!? Does anyone know? Did anyone see?    

This is ultimate paranoia! Call the Management. Let’s have a replay! No one seems to know. Rowena and the other Cells were too busy trying to control the other Sperms while he, or she, was busy burrowing deep inside me. I must admit I was enjoying it all so much I didn’t look! Oh Eggy, how can you have missed that one!! Did anyone see the Sperm go in the Egg?    

A fertilized BUT sexless Egg!    


PS: Moms, do you know what sex I am?    


Day 33 AD:

What sex am I !!?


The Sex issue! – very depressing. Rowena feels she has let me down. She sent a message to the Nursery Management but they say it was her responsibility as Department Head. They called me that ‘Eggy Upstart’ and warned me that I am still not in the womb yet! Rowena said be careful because they can still reject me and say it was a ‘spontaneous abortion’.    

Clandestine behaviour even in here! They have also said to Rowena they want to make an ‘appeal’ again and reopen my case with Brain Control and have another ‘Full Internal Egg Inquiry’. They will do anything to stop me Moms! Can you write them another note please?    

Dear Nursery Management, I am very pleased with my fertilised Eggy. Please leave it alone and stop criticising it; otherwise he/she may become very ‘highly strung’ and turn into a neurotic baby when he/she gets out. Yours very sincerely, Moms.    

Rowena said we’d better hurry up and get down to your Womb before Nursery Management try any more tricks. Don’t feel like singing much at the moment. Must be inner confusion about whether I am a Girl or Boy Rock Star- or maybe just that fruit fly thing?    



Day 34 AD:

We finally arrived – my Five Star Hotel Womb!    


DJ Eggy!


It’s an awesome place you’ve got here Moms, and great for my new recording studio! I will try out the acoustics later. We can have lots of disco parties with iridescent lights and Rowena, with all the other Helper Cells, shaking their pretty little filaments. ‘Welcome to the Ministry of Womb’!     

 I will need to grow some organs and a few limbs first though; so I can sing and dance properly. I hope you won’t mind the noise and late night parties disturbing your sleep Moms. It’s all in a good cause. Rowena and the other Cells have already parked me in the top bit of your Womb and taken off my magical Zona Pellucida coat so I can attach myself to you, draw in some of your goodies, and have something to eat. It’s a huge place for such a tiny little Eggy; much better than that ovarian cave. I am no bigger than a tiny ‘pin egg head’, Rowena says; but I understand I will eventually grow into it. Oh, I just tried out the acoustics in here. Great echo in my yoke!    

‘Welcome to the Eggy Hotel…Such a lovely place…Such a lovely place…..Living it up at the Eggy 5 Star Hotel …..With Rowena and I… and Moms standing by….’    

Hey ya! Eggy is home.    


Day 35 AD:

‘Hey Ya..there’s a new Egg in town ..’    

Got another hormone package from Brain Control today Moms; like an implanting kit. I spent most of the day attaching myself to the soft walls of your womb lining and connecting myself to your blood supply. I am one hundred cells bigger now and officially known as a Blasto-cyst, thingy; very aggressive Moms! Ha ha. Did you feel anything?    

Vampire Eggy!


Rowena giggled and called me a vampire! (What’s a vampire Moms?) But this is a very special moment for us Moms; our first real moment of bonding- mutual, nourishing. I really feel we are becoming deeply inter- connected. I wonder who you are and what you are really like though? I hope you are as beautiful and as caring as Rowena. Oh well, I will just have to wait and see I suppose.    

‘Burp! Oh gosh, I must have eaten too much; tasted nice though. Glad you managed to kick those other substances. That grapey stuff is okay though; could get used to that. Better watch my weight; don’t want to be a fat baby. A bit tired; will rest now.    

Your Eggy.    

PS: Found another nice song in our Genes’ chest for you.    

‘Hello out there….is it me you’re looking for…..?’    


Day 36 AD:

Gosh Moms; are you trying to get rid of me?    

I awoke to violent spasms raging in your body.My new home heaved and shuddered around me. Lots of horrible noises coming through the walls! Are you sick of me already Moms?    

I was terrified. Not a good start to our relationship. Rowena gently reassured me with her long filaments. That is ‘morning sickness’, she said. Just Mom’s body telling her that you are here now. HELLO MOMS!!    

What a strange introduction. Oh ..well. There are two of you in my life now. Early training for balancing relationships I suppose. Oh, Rowena said; don’t forget to take your folic acid supplements, Moms, and tell the Dads; if they are thinking of having another ‘work-out’, can they wear a condom. (What’s a condom Moms?)    

By the way I also have a new e mail address –eggy@wombmail.com so you can write soon! Now the good news- Rowena and the other Nursery Cells are going to help me start redecorating in here, ready for our new sound recording studio- The Ministry of Womb’ We just thought that as it is now under ‘new management’ that it could do with a bit of a ‘face lift’-hope you don’t mind? I have also found another great song in our Genes’ chest for the  launch party!    

‘We are the Champions of the Womb…and we’ll go on fighting to the end…..Yes we are the Champions…… We are the Champions…. of the Womb…’    

 You go well Moms.      

Hey Ya!….Your Eggy    


Copyright & Image Acknowledgements    

(c)Copyright ‘Secret Diary of a Really Bad Egg’ (Eggy’s Diary) Nov 2009. A.D.Fryer. Unauthorized use and duplication of this written material & front cover without the blogs author and/or owners express and written permission is strictly prohibited.    

Image Acknowledgments:    

The numbers listed below refer to the entries (e.g.,#1 is Front Cover)    

AF Front Cover 1. Microsoft Clip Art: 8, 9, 10, 11.. Dreamstime: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7. You Tube Videos.5, 12.


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